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 a jokes sub forum???

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Lynx

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PostSubject: a jokes sub forum???   Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:41 am

yep you read me right...a jokes forum, home of comedy and freindly banter!... seeings that all of us are high on something in the air i thought this would be a timely...time, to suggest this.


and all the topics would be about BUCK>>>> cos he is a joke LAWL!! WTFPWNED!! Very Happy
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Limey

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:20 am

Padre, Mr Drift & The two Pigs ?

Padre and Mr Drift, two good friends, went out one day and each bought a pig.

When they got home, Padre turned to Mr Drift and said, "Mr Drift, me ol' mate, how are we gonna tell who owns which pig?"

Mr Drift says "Well Padre, I'll cut one of the ears off my pig, and then we can tell them apart". "Ah that'd be grand" says Padre.

This worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Padre stormed into the house. "Mr Drift" he said "Your pig has chewed the ear off of my pig. Now we got two pigs with one ear each. How are we gonna tell who owns which pig?"

"Well Padre" said Mr Drift "I'll cut the other ear off my pig. Then we'll have two pigs and only one of them will have an ear". "Ah that'd be grand" says Padre.

Again this worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Padre again stormed into the house. "Mr Drift" he said "Your pig has chewed the other ear off of my pig. Now we got two pigs with no ears ! How are we gonna tell who owns which pig?"

"Ah this is serious, Padre", said Mr Drift, "I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll cut the tail off of my pig, then we'll have two pigs with no ears and only one with a tail." "Ah that'd be grand" says Padre.

Another couple of weeks went by, and you guessed it. Padre stormed into the house once more.

"Mr Drift!" shouted Padre "YOUR PIG HAS CHEWED THE TAIL OFF OF MY PIG AND NOW WE GOT TWO PIGS WITH NO EARS AND NO TAILS !!. HOW THE HELL ARE WE EVER GONNA TELL THEM APART ?!"

"Ah what the hell !" says Mr Drift "How's about you have the black one, and I'll have the white one."


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Dog.

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:21 am

Heard that before Limey.. xD Surprised But I heard it as horses bounce
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Limey

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PostSubject: Naughty Bird   Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:23 am

Jimmy received a parrot for Christmas. The parrot was fully grown, with a very
bad attitude and worse vocabulary.

Every other word was a swear word; those that weren't swear words were, to say
the least, rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying
polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. Nothing worked.

He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird
got madder and more rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a
few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and
then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly
opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry
that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your
forgiveness. I will endeavour to correct my behaviour".


Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask
what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken
did?"
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Limey

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:23 am

Dog. wrote:
Heard that before Limey.. xD Surprised But I heard it as horses bounce

Well excuse ME! affraid lol!
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Lynx

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:21 pm

i bet the 'pig' one was two irish guys am right aint i?...just becuase 'that'd be grand' is so irish Very Happy and teh white/black pigs XD

good though good


here is a funny song/storie me grandad use to tell em back as me child hood

the story of Foot, Foot foot and Foot Foot Foot.

Foot, Foot Foot and Foot Foot Foot went to play football in the football field,
foot passed to foot foot who passed to foot foot foot who then passed back to foot.
foot ran after the football and got his foot cuaght in a foot trap,
so foot foot and foot foot foot took foot to the foot docter.
the foot docter said to foot foot and foot foot foot that foot was going to die.
and foot did...AWW

next day foot foot and foot foot foot went to play football in the football field,
foot foot passed to foot foot foot who then chased teh ball and got his foot caught in a foot trap.
foot foot took foot foot foot to the foot docter, the foot docter told foot foot that foot foot foot will die.

'HE CANT DIE!' cried foot foot to the foot docter, in which the foot docter replied to foot 'Why?'

'Ive already got one foot in the grave!'

XD
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Dog.

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:15 am

Worst joke I have ever heard in my life Lynx. Reading it all the way, thinking it would be good but no. Anyway, I have a Joke: [Clean Version]

Poo, Manners and Shut up were walking along, when Poo fell down a drain.

"What are we going to do?" exclaimed Manners.

"I know, I will go to hospital!" Suggested Shut up.

So off he went, and when he got there, the man at the reception desk asked for his name.

"Shut up" Shut up replied.

The receptionist, astonished at his manners, asked again.

"What is your name?"

"Shut up!" Said Shut up.

"NO, I ASKED FOR YOUR NAME!"

"SHUT UP!" Screamed Shut up.

The receptionish, anguished by his rudeness, asked,

"Where are your manners?"

"Down the Drain picking Poo up!"


xD
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Lynx

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:12 pm

that was the whole point lmao
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-Holy-

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Thu Dec 11, 2008 3:22 pm

^^^ the ruder 1 is so much better =)
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Dog.

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:22 am

The rude one is defo much better, but I knew I would have Padre up my ass!
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Zombie

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:56 am

ok my joke it awful I know

a man walks to a bar(all jokes must start with this gezz) and sees this barrel above the bar
"whats that he ask"
the bartender replies
"o, u give me five bucks and if you do three dares you get all the money"
the man responds "o"
and goes back to drinking
after a beer he yells
"thats it ok I will do it” slamming a fiver on the table
"whats the first dare” he asks
"you must scull a larger"
He does this dare and cries, "easy, whats the second dare"
the bartenders says "to pull a tooth out of a pit bull and the third dare is to sleep with an old lady"
the man jaw drops "forget it, keep my money"
after 2 more beers he walks out the bar, all the bartender and other patrons can hear is yelping, he stumbles back into the bar
and yells "now wheres this old lady with a tooth to pull out *hic*"

I told it was awful Shocked
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Lynx

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PostSubject: Re: a jokes sub forum???   Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:24 am

haha that was very good actually
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